Empty-handed I entered the world

Barefoot I leave it. My coming.

My going—two simple happenings

That got entangled

—Kozan Ichikyo 1360

website in progress

Dardinelle Troen is an end-of-life doula, entheogenic medicine practitioner and creative artist currently based in Portland and Astoria. NEDA Proficient

soul apprentice

Six months ago, I was fortunate to have had a
near-death experience involving a long flight
of stairs and a bulky refrigerator. A split-second misjudgment diverted attention? Millimeters, microseconds. Everything changed.

I guess my body performed brilliantly, and at least part of my brain was operating,  telling my traumatized partner to call 911. Remembering my wilderness first aid training. Letting the EMTs know my vitals. Later, dropping multiple loud F-bombs in the emergency room, cracking up some, perhaps horrifying others. God only knows what I said. 

However, it would be many hours before the part of my consciousness that creates memories, records and observes sensations
and makes stories would come back from whatever dimension it had escaped. 

At that moment, even though I had no memory of what happened or the previous 12 hours, one voice and one thought was
crystal clear: “You won the lottery, girlfriend. There were infinite scenarios in which you should have died there in that moment.
There would have been no teary goodbyes or final “I love you.” No buttons sewn on, papers sorted out, last harrahs or final opus. 

This scenario where you find yourself alive and mostly well without so much as a bruise is a gift.

What will you do with your one precious human life?”

now what?

Until this point in my life, I had considered myself comfortable with my eventual dissolution, having spent much of my adult life in spiritual and philosophical pursuits. However, my dance with the refrigerator opened up feelings and aspects of life and death that I had previously ignored or had been mostly unconscious of.
I was unprepared for the grief and sorrow that welled up inside of me as I considered leaving the people I loved and saying goodbye to everything I loved about this life experience on earth. 

I realized I had more work to do and needed to reflect deeply on how I wanted to spend my attention and time in the uncertain lifespan I had left. Throughout this process, it became clear to me that, as a culture, we often invest considerable effort into avoiding or fearing death and that fear significantly influences how we live and connect with one another. For the first time, I felt a profound sense of being called by my ancestors.

going with grace

End-of-life Doula Training NEDA Proficient
goingwithgrace.com

Encouraged by my ancestors, or perhaps the series of strangely serendipitous events in the months following my accident. I began a 14-week training program with Going with Grace, which was a genuinely pivotal experience for me. I was utterly unprepared for the profound transformation it would initiate in my mind, influencing every aspect of my life. This journey is still unfolding daily, but I trust it will guide me to where I am meant to go. 

What is an end-of-life doula? Doulas support individuals and their loved ones with resources, education, and emotional assistance related to end-of-life issues. Their services may include helping with advanced directives, burial arrangements, life reviews, legacy projects, and providing support for families after a loss.

While collaborating with palliative care and hospice services, end of life doulas are not medical practitioners and do not provide medical care. They can operate in various settings, including homes, hospitals, and hospices, and engage with clients regardless of diagnosis or prognosis. Their support is tailored to each person's unique spiritual, cultural, and personal beliefs, ensuring that end-of-life wishes are respected and honored.

events

  • death meditation

    10.26.2024 | 12:00-1:00 PM

    Marne Lucas Bardo Project: Oregon
    Portland Arts Collective, Portland, Oregon

    Around the time of my accident I met Marne Lucas. a multidisciplinary artist, end of life doula and as it turns out my kindred spirit. I participated in Marne Lucas's Bardo Project: Oregon, guiding audience members through a 40-minute death meditation.

    Called the Maranasati Sutra, or the Nine Contemplations of Death. It originates from Atisha, an 11th-century Tibetan Buddhist scholar. Over the centuries, countless teachers and practitioners have contributed to this practice. My adaptation is primarily inspired by the works of Roshi Joan Halifax and Alua Arthur.

    This exercise provides an opportunity to contemplate the inevitability of death and reflect on what it evokes in each of us individually. Exploring what emotions or feelings are most important, and which ones do you need to let go of to have a calm, peaceful transition. This is a practice one can come back to again and again, like yoga, each time sinking into the areas where one hits resistance. 

resources

  • https://theconversationproject.org/

    The Conversation Project® is a public engagement initiative of the Institute for Healthcare Improvement (IHI). Our goal is both simple and transformative: to help everyone talk about their wishes for care through the end of life, so those wishes can be understood and respected.

  • An organization dedicated to improving care, expanding options and empowering everyone to chart their end-of-life journey. The site has a wealth of resources and tools designed to address planning your end-of-life care at every state, even after a dementia diagnosis.

    https://compassionandchoices.org/

  • An advance directive, sometimes called a "living will," is a written document that tells your health care providers who should speak for you and what medical decisions they should make if you become unable to speak for yourself.

    https://www.oregon.gov/oha/ph/about/pages/adac-forms.aspx

  • Grief.com is dedicated to help everyone deal with the often unknown terrain that comes along with all kinds of grief. Through education, information and other helpful resources we hope to make the challenging road of grief a little easier.

  • Children, teens, and families learn from each other as they adapt and rebuild their lives. Good Grief builds resilience in children, strengthens families and empowers communities to grow from loss and adversity.

    https://good-grief.org/resources/

hello

How can I support you on your life journey? What do you need to
accomplish or resolve to engage with your one precious life fully?

dardi@viemort.com
(503) 913-4179